a birthday chanel

true love is when your man gets you a chanel for your birthday....so says bagnatic. yippeee!! a new chanel baby for my collection!

a big bag of stressssssssss

i must have pissed off god in the last year because this year, my new class of kids are especially hard to deal with. in fact, if i was told i wouldn't be found legally responsible for my actions, i would probably punch a few of their faces in. yes, teachers ARE human and we DO have emotions and some of us DO like to PUNCH faces. p0w!

i know the hood i teach in isn't the best, i know a lot of them come from broken homes, i know my students deal with a lot of issues outside of the classroom so i try not to shit on their already full plate by being harsh or cruel. i am strict though and maintain an environment of learning because it's important to me that they learn, it is important to me that they don't become another hoodie statistic, it is important that they know how to freakin' read, write, and do some goddamn math!

at school, i am known to be able to keep my shit together and my classroom management is not an issue. but for this particular year, my shit is a bit scattered and feels pretty loose like i just ate a bad meal at denny's and have extremely harsh diarrhea spurting from my ass. so with this new class of kids, their "inherited" free spirit from previous teachers that don't care about classroom management has reared its ugly head on me. i have movers and talkers and most that JUST DON'T PAY ATTENTION. being the nazi teacher that i am, i want you to listen, and practice, and TRY because i want you to GET IT goddamnit! PLEASE don't roam about when you feel like it, PLEASE don't talk to your neighbors instead of listening to my lesson, PLEASE don't play with your eraser in your desk. PLEASE. i said PLEASE! in previous years, i slowly but surely wittle my wiley class down and they settle in and become better learners. THEY begin to bend to my wind like little willow trees because eventually, they decide the howling wind isn't so bad after all and can be soothing, intriguing, perhaps charming at times and they become better learners.

this year, my wind has howled and howled and granted that i've only had 1 1/2 weeks with this new class, i feel beat. beat cuz on top of my usual pool of movers and shakers that have to learn how to LEARN, i have an autistic student who comes in with NO support. HE needs an extra adult to help him other than just me. i have already gone through two 30 minute tantrums, head banging against the wall outside of my classroom, table pounding, loud outbursts, and growls when he doesn't like what i do or say. perhaps if all the 20 kids around him were nice and kind, then i can concentrate my wind one this one child and i would not feel so beat, but alas, the rest of the kids are trouble makers in their own right with a few cute ones sprinkled in so i feel i'm constantly putting out fires left and right. eventually, does the forest just not burn down?

i know a lot of my fellow teacher friends are having a hard year themselves, but they are not blogging about it and i am. ha! so i ask that you pity me for another month at least and deal with my whining and bitching because i'm trying real hard to deal with the frustrations that well up inside me whenever i see my class of kids being disruptive, disorderly, or plain just bad learners. ahhh, and the autistic kid...man, i won't shit on your plate because god has already dealt you a heavy hand, but can you PLEASE decrease your tantrums to 15 minutes at the very least? i am a teacher after all and at the end of the day, i still feel guilty when i don't think my kids are learning and the outbursts and tantrums is making it real hard to learn.

so if you see me wielding this BAG around campus, i can assure you, it is NOT orange juice. anyways, i sit here, at home and totally sick, after 7 days of teaching this new class. phlegm and boogers galore. i can't teach with a pounding headache or a raspy throat so i'm revving up my energy for another go at it tomorrow (well rested and somewhat recovered i hope) even though i feel ashamed that i've already called in sick after only 7 days.

i would like to implement mandatory happy hours this year. who's in?

when bags grow hair

i feel hot. do you feel hot? does this hot weather make you feel like throwing a few ice cubes down your pants?

if you feel hot, don't you think this hairy bag feels hot as well? do you think it sweats like we do? i was at hugo's in atwater waiting for my organic white washed burrito and saw this lady toting this hairy bag. at first, i thought it was a dog, but once i focused my eyes on it, i noticed it was a travesty with handles. ugh.

i like unique accessories. i really do. but this one is just plain fug to the 10th power. what in the world drew this lady to it? i don't think even god has an answer to that question.

i took my quick spy photo and left. poof. btw, the burrito was aight.

MURSEy, MURSEy me!

men.

the evolution of men. you know, the ones with the twigs and berries.

they use to be so hairy and dirty back then. an animal skin to drape the junk was totally acceptable. no brushing, no combing, no flossing, no washing...*grunt, grunt* dirty was fine. dirty was IN.

then men got more refined. REALLY REFINED. helllloooooo metrosexual. they started to compete with women for the same services. facials, manis, pedis....COME ON NOW! i love me a clean man, but a girl-man i do not love. if you smell better than me, have softer skin, get facials, and shop more than i do, then i don't want to be with you. i would get too jealous. besides, wouldn't that make me a lesbian?

but ah, the MAN PURSE! ugh, methinks you are taking it too far! i was fine with the messenger bag because it still belonged in the back pack family because of its size....but when the satchel you carry sir looks way too purselike, that is unforgivable. that is sooooo, ugh, gay. but you claim you are not....

let's look at some purse toting dudes and make fun of them:

terrence howard. omg, that is a clutch. there's no attempt to even make it manly.

robert downey jr. too small to be considered a messenger bag. most definitely a murse. why rob why? and it totally clashes with your outfit.

seal and his murse. you don't look tough no mo'.

tom brady. that is clearly a shoulder bag. why don't you add some rhinestones tom!

bagnatic does not approve of murses. just another way for men to encroach on female territory is what i think. you?

reunited and it feels so good

back in august 2008, i was in las vegas to attend a friend's bachelorette party. during down time, i would go shopping (it is imprinted in my genes girls and i won't deny it). a harmless stroll through fashion show mall lead me to neiman marcus which lead me to their small chanel store which lead me to another unneccessary chanel crush. what a vicious cycle this is!

oh my god, what do i see?! good gawd it's a navy blue lambskin wallet on a chain! soft, supple leather, glossy sheen, thin leather woven chain that reminds me of a pretty necklace. the best part is being able to wear it messenger style, but ultimately you can use it as a cluch or a shoulder bag as well. in that moment, i felt i NEEDED it, that life would be incomplete without it. crazy devil at work that's what this is.

but i resisted.

it was around the same time that i closed escrow on my house and needed to take care of some bills. so keeping in theme with my good girl with good credit image, i bid adieu to this lovely woc even though i got the s.a's number and even told him to put it on hold for me JUST IN CASE. ah, the games i play on myself. ultimately i left las vegas without this pretty little chanel.

fast forward two months later and i find myself at saks in beverly hills. another harmless walk over to neimans led me to the chanel counter which lead me to the same woc!! woot? is this like fate or something? is it?! i demand an answer! i saw it's twin sitting in the display case begging for me to tote it. once toted, it was clearly over. my sa had a brand new one in stock and i purchased it during their gift card promotions and took my new baby chanel home. i think the lesson here is to stop taking those harmless walks!

the chanel woc is small and is meant to replace your wallet because there's card slots as well as an inner compartment for loose change. it can fit a thin cell phone and a thin camera but that's about it. it's not a super practical bag, but most chanels aren't super practical anyways. come on now! why are you paying so much for a bag right....*bagnatic thinks about it*....it was lovely and i wanted to own it and now i do. i've used it several times now and it's a great little purse. ahhh, i love me some chanel!

my shoalin monk pose as i try to steady the camera and give you my modeling shot. ow!

the raging renaissance

on saturday, i was overwhelmed by an incredible urge to go medieval. did you guess renaissance faire?! ding, ding, ding, you are correct. a few friends and i drove our bums to irwindale to stare at a group of people stuck in time. the ladies there seemed to love it because they get to be wenches and flop their boobies around (shameful hussies) and the men just love any excuse to look like fabio with their billowy white pirate shirts (inner gay?).

methinks these bazookas are illegal in 40 states!

first things first...let's get grub was the battle cry!! there's something about attending a fair that makes you overeat. let me rephrase that. there's something about attending a fair that makes ME overeat. and overeat on bad stuff too. damn it! thank god i was wearing an empire waist dress because my expanded belly required coverage. apparently cheese squeezed out of a can was popular during the middle ages. boy did i feel robbed when i found that squirted on my food! can't believe i ate them anyways. *head hung low*

and as always, my peepers were on the look out for bags or any baglike things. although there were no chanels or marc jacobs back in da days, renaissance fashion seems to indicate that small pouches or leather bags were hawt. see anything you like? they kinda remind me of the silk pouches that japanese women carry on their wrists when they are wearing their kimonos.

here's a dude with his pouch. i wonder if these pouches were the medieval equivalents of fanny packs. what say you?

whatcha put in your pouch sir?

boobies and bags oh my!

great things to look at. this gypsy dance was probably my favorite out of the whole lot.

pretty fun for a medieval day in irwindale.

2008 was great

yes, i couldn't help myself. i never really could to be honest with you......