an apple for the teacher

once in a while, i become absolutely FASCINATED with something that i can't justify purchasing because it's just plain crap, like it will end up in a yard sale kind of crap. but i end up dreaming about it (literally) and then i get it. if that's not a loud message from god (the dreaming part), then i don't know what would constitute as one.

6 months ago, we stopped by a harry and david shop to kill time before heading over to a friend's wedding reception. i saw this cute apple container with a leaf spoon in it and wanted to get it then, but honestly, what would i even use it for? did i hear you say NOTHING? YUP. nothing. it's as useful as a hello kitty sammich press. besides, my kitchen is already cluttered. i really didn't need this apple. really. so i walked away patting myself on my back for executing some will power.

6 months later, i kept thinking about it. not obsessively like single white female, more like, oh, how cute and round and shiny that apple container was and i'm SURE i could have found something to put in it....so when we were out in vegas last week, i saw it again so i picked it up. no denying it this time. it is still pretty useless, but it's as round and as shiny as i had remembered. i put these fancy shmancy salt crystals in them and use the spoon to sprinkle the salt on salads, paella, etc....yup, that's a stretch alright, but i bought it anyways.

stripping down

i've been to a male "strip joint" twice. once in las vegas with a bunch of my giddy girlfriends to check out "thunder from down under" and then to hollywood men for my friend's bachelorette party many years ago. both times, i felt CHEATED yah know. i always expected to see some shlong, but instead, there's a line-up of gayish looking long haired men reenacting some fat housewive's fantasy on stage. gyrating on a motorcycle? um, no thanks. shower scene with your speedo on? ack, nope, not feeling it. unlike the female stripping equivalent where's there titties galore and sometimes some bush, a male stripping show is just a long winded teaser....which leads me to the stripping of my tiffany box.

(cue the porn music...*bowchickabowow*)

"take it off baby... ow!"

"show me what you got in there! ow!"

"don't tease me baby...take it out and show me!"

"oh lord have mercy...you're hard like a rock!"

and it is....this is my mini tiffany diamond circlet pendant in platinum. harder than a rock and oh so delicious.

the end.

no one feeling blue around here!

i believe in getting spoiled. yup i do. i think it's even better though when you are able to spoil yourself and not get into debt while doing it. :) last year for my birthday, i bought a trio of b-day presents for myself. hahahaha...although i couldn't do a trio this year due to my wee house, dog, and going back to school, i still gifted myself a pretty blue box to add to my collection of pretty blue boxes. i thought it was perfect and the s.a. that helped me is a keeper. thanks noriko!

happy belated b-day to me! hahha, yes, i am a dorkus and a porkus.

nothing but fine boot-ay here!

every winter, i longingly look at the hot boots that most chicks strut about in. you know who you are! i like looking at the scrunchy ones, the long and leathery ones, the boots with the laces, the boots that zip all the way up, or the ones with the buckles. black, brown, flats, or heels, you know i'm visually molesting every one of yous! i particularly love it when the boots are showcased uninterrupted with tights or tucked into jeans. it's cute and totally cold weather appropriate. it also gives you an opportunity to expand your look for the season, even though you'll look like every other boot wearing chick during winter. who cares right?

so every winter, i go to the shoe section of various department stores to try a few pairs on, hoping to find THE RIGHT PAIR to kick off my winter wardrobe. i generally start off feeling pretty excited because everything looks so good hanging on the racks, but after trying the first two pairs, i finally realize that my legs are more like these:

elephant legs. yup, elephant legs. they are not as dry or crackly, but my legs are short and thick. damn you genetics!

alas, boot buying has never been successful for me. it's actually quite embarassing and frustrating sitting on those chairs, trying to squeeze my thick calves into obviously small leg openings. it feels even worse when you see your skin flap spillith over or the zipper stopping midway through the zip. i have YET to find a pair....until last weekend that is. whoo hoo!

lookey at my new boots! i wanted black, flat boots and found them! i chanced upon them at aldo and snatched them up quick. i think they look cute but i also think i overpaid for them. but it's like finding water after you've stumbled through death valley ready to die from thirst. all i could think of was, I FINALLY FOUND BOOTS THAT FIT!! anyways, i wore them out once already and totally love them.

nothing like wearing pjs and using a dirty mirror to make the photo shoot a good one.

chanel has nothing on this

i bought this. i loves it a lot. please click on the link and see what i've been doing with my free time.

http://myweehouse.blogspot.com/

purty in pearls

oooh la la. here's my tres delicious gift to myself! a strand of pearls! i know...pearls? i LOVE pearls. you don't know this, but i use to rock a fake strand in elementary school for a year. i would venture to say in 3rd grade i think. i still remember my youthful pearl wearing days because i distinctly remember my mom buying me a fake strand at one of those chinatown swapmeets. i also distinctly remember BEGGING her to buy me another fake strand when the one i wore (i never took them off), broke. yah, i was a pearl lova from way back!

that's me in elementary school rocking my fake strand of pearls and a gingham dress. i was SO stylin'. you might recognize my double chin.

here's me totally not in elementary school anymore, finally rocking a REAL strand of pearls. i do have a real pearl pendant too, but nothing beats a strand of them. *sigh* they are so lovely. they have a nice pinkish tint to them.

i was able to get them because of gift number 4 to myself. i had a tremendous amount of gift cards and needed to spend them before they expired. once i moseyed on over to the fine jewelry section, my eyes zoned in on the pearls and my search was clearly over. i knew i had to get myself a strand! i had originally eyed the south sea pearls, but those are TREMENDOUSLY EXPENSIVE. i finally settled on a good size freshwater strand. i love them a lot :) maybe some day, i can work myself up to a strand of yellow south sea pearls.

peeping toes

these shoes were in the box. wore it twice already and although they are made to be comfortable...alas, they are not. cute though. i was really thrilled by the peep toes and the gold trim on it. i thought it looked hot and i've been wanting a pair like that for a while. i got even more excited when i found out the brand was one of those "comfy" ones...you know, geriatric shoes for the fashion forward crowd. i tried to break it in, but instead, they broke me in :( my toes hurt. sadness.

*bagnatic throws another pair of shoes in the limited use pile. boy does that pile grow!*

shopping list

hey girls, i'm back!!

vaykay finally started for reals now so i'm searching for really shallow things to occupy my time. very, very shallow things such as:

1) red shoes because my faves are quickly meeting their death since i wear them so much

2) a snooty wallet to put in my crispy ONE DOLLAR bill

3) a nice pair of well fitted jeans for my short stature but voluptuous ass

4) nice slip on, kinda dressy black work shoes so i can strut down the halls of c.w.

5) a vacuum cleaner (not shallow, but much needed)

6) shirts for all occassions, fun or work

7) fun socks to add to my fun sock collection

i haven't gone shopping at all since january and BOY am i excited to whittle down this list. if you have any recs where i might be able to find these things suitable for moi, please share!

finally found fantastic flats

i like the flats look, but alas, my feet are not meant for them...or might i say, my feet never found the right flats to adorn them. i've tried on TONS, but they always seem to slip off at the heel. but if i get a smaller size, they feel too tight. once, i bought a pair of black flats at baker's because i THOUGHT they would fit. what a lie!! they were cute, but when put to use, they started cutting into my toes :( bleedy toes are NOT sexy...ok, maybe not bleedy, but definitely my pinky toes looked pretty abused. i've decided those flats are meant to be used sparingly and when i'm certain too much walking won't be involved.

but i THINK i've found me some good flats!! they are navy, SEEM pretty comfy, and i can't wait to wear them for reals. i really wanted a pair of purple ones, but they didn't have them my size so i settled for the navy ones. it is probably a good choice since it'll match more of my outfits. but then again, when do the things i wear ever match?

wallet?

my sister suggested that i get this wallet. it's a hayden-harnett wallet and honestly, i've never heard of it. am i a brand snob or what?! here's its specs:

size: 7-1/2"L x 4"H x 1"D

custom geometric printed leather
mirror under flap
multiple credit card slots
large bill pocket
ID window
exterior rear zippered coin pocket
multiple interior pockets to hold receipts, business cards, etc.

what do you think? unfortunatley, i'm still on my wallet hunt and it's helpful to get suggestions.