faking out

can you spot a few designer fakes hanging on this wall of fakes? i can identify at least three different designers. anyways, i saw these a while back and took a pic of it. i'm suprised i didn't see any louis vuitton.

don't deal me valentino

have you ever met a dealer who tries to hook you onto something else down the road? you know, like "hey baby, try some ecstasy. it'll make you feel good." then it becomes "hey baby, crack ain't whack. why don't you try some on me..." until you find yourself lying in a seedy hotel room faced down in your bile with heroin marks running up and down your arms....yeah, the pusher just pushed you over. ok, i've never done this before, but i have a good imagination.

anyways, another s.a. that i "deal" with only works with me on chanel and have sold me several chanel pieces...but every once in a while, she will send me emails trying to tempt me with another designer:

"Good morning bagnatic, I thought you might enjoy seeing the new Valentino that just arrived. It is very soft and feminine. If you are interested in any of these please give me a call. Thanks from the Pusher"

this time, she tried to push some valentino bags on me:

i don't mean to insult any of you valentino fans out there when i say this, but THESE BAGS ARE UGLY. how do you go from hot totty chanel to granny panties valentino? the ruffles are seasons old and prada has already done it. look s.a., you are cluttering my inbox with ugly bag pictures when i could have saved that space for emails that recommend that i "enlarge my penis" or "get same medz at better prices."

oogly.

another woofy bag

don't know what's going on with some of the animal themes you see in bags. furry, hairy, jungly, farm woofing...STOP! why isn't PETA getting on your ass or at least some sort of fug award nomination to give you designers a reality check?! seriously, even a double c chanel label on a hairy animal bag is ooogly! check this monstrosity out. a chanel flap with fur and tweed. it's like a designer fart. ick.

then it dawned on me that i own something that looks very similar:

this is about as much animal fur as i'm willing to tote. and this furry bag carries only doo doo and treats. what a useless bag it is.

when bags grow hair

i feel hot. do you feel hot? does this hot weather make you feel like throwing a few ice cubes down your pants?

if you feel hot, don't you think this hairy bag feels hot as well? do you think it sweats like we do? i was at hugo's in atwater waiting for my organic white washed burrito and saw this lady toting this hairy bag. at first, i thought it was a dog, but once i focused my eyes on it, i noticed it was a travesty with handles. ugh.

i like unique accessories. i really do. but this one is just plain fug to the 10th power. what in the world drew this lady to it? i don't think even god has an answer to that question.

i took my quick spy photo and left. poof. btw, the burrito was aight.

preventing the abyss

large bags are in. you would think this wouldn't be the case since it's been "in" since at least early 2007. what happened to fickle fashion and getting outdated quickly? well, lucky for you if you are a big bag lova. you're still safe if you are carrying your FBI body bag sort of bag. apparently, the bigger the handbag, the better.

courtney cox with her big ass red snakeskin "bird bag."

angelina jolie with her anya hindmarch tote.

gorgeous chanel croc tote. huge effer though.

now, if you can carry off such a behemoth of a bag, then i have to wonder, HOW THE HECK DO YOU FIND YOUR THINGS IN SUCH A LARGE BAG??!! some designers are considerate of this fact and sew pockets on the insides of the bag for your cell phone, keys, etc.... but others do not. i guess if you were planning to carry such a huge ass bag in the first place, the designers probably assume that convienence isn't your main priority. lucky for angelina and courtney, there is a solution to this: the purseket. yep. an organizer for your big ass bag.

"The Large measures: 8" high from top of key post x 36" long. It wraps around inside to line the purse with 8 gusseted pockets. Fits canvas totes, carryalls, travel bags, large purses, beach bags, diaper bags with 15" min. opening x 8" min depth. 8th pocket is 6" wide & has velcroed flap which can be tucked behind the Purseket when not needed. Bulky items, eg. wallets, makeup cases, dayplanners, sit in the middle of a clean purse."

um, i have a few big bags myself, but i think the purseket is tacky. i know it's practical and all, but i can't get over how "pocket protectorish" it all seems. you know, GEEKY. it just seems ick to open your big ole chanel or marc jacobs to find one of these things in there. i don't mind digging around my purse for my wallet and keys. would you pursket your purse? it's $22 for a large, $20 for a medium, and $18 for a small. OR, you can take that money and get a froyo, yo. i pick option B.

don't ruffle her bag!

many bags share similar qualities. sometimes you see this quality prevalent in all the design houses in one season, and some linger and overflow to the next. i don't know if that's called staying power or just persistence. i think designers do find a fashion pulse though and they design a lot around a certain inspiration. OR, they see a particular style that they like and then they replicate it because they ran out of ideas themselves. who knows.... in my classroom, i call that COPYING. nooooo bueno!

in the past season, dior came out with a "gypsy bag." i believe the red ruffles you see adorning this bag is suppose to make you think of the tons of ruffles that a "gypsy" might rock with her skirts.

hot cartoon gypsy chick. notice the bellowing skirt.

in january of this year, dior came out with a red ruffled "gypsy bag." i don't think it's very cute. love the red color, but the ruffles are TOO much. don't they look like oversized panties? it also looks like you're carrying a frock. and for the price...ick. put that frickin' frock down!

i saw it sitting by its lonesome at a dior store. i did not go in to inquire, but the bag looked pretty big and i think the ruffles are made of leather.

fast forward 9 months later, another frickin' frock shows up. say hello to the prada pizzo sachel. it appears to be covered in lace and again it has RUFFLES. this bag is a straight up school-marm-with-a-tight-bun-about-to-attend-a-funeral bag though. this is no, no, no.

i think we should leave the ruffles alone. this is one fashion detail i don't mind disappearing with the dinosaurs.

don't judge a bag by it's cover

on a recent trip to sin city, my friend and i were strolling through fashion show mall and we came across this kiosk called "miche bag." a 24 year old woman named michelle developed this concept bag.

anyways, the concept is simple. you have a basic black bag like this:

the bag itself is laid out with all these hidden magnets and the "shell" which is the interchangeable part is also laid with magnets. you snap off the shell when you want to change the look and then snap on a new shell when you figure out that new look. the process is SUPER EASY and pretty sturdy. i know because i walked by one and played with it.

snap on your shell of choice and voila! you have a new look for your bag!

first of all, freakin' shot outs to this michelle chick for coming up with a bag concept and making it happen. she is ONLY 24! dang. and i think the bag is "growing" in sales. she took the universal appeal of getting the best bang for your buck and made it a business. come on now, what better bang can you get than buying ONE item but find multiple looks and uses for it. i think most of us have good satisfaction when we can use any item to it's bits and pieces. makes it feel like it's worth our money.

anyways, the shells of her bag have girl's names. i'm assuming she must be naming them after some important chicks in her life. my favorite one is the "amy" shell. i don't know why the "amy" shell looks like a jail uniform though:

i personally wouldn't get a miche bage cuz i think it's fugz and the idea insults my bag whore proclivities. but to each their own.

rain, rain, go away

as i thought of our two friends traveling to a land where hurricane gustav might have blazed through, i was reminded of this interesting bag i saw. it's called a "bag raincoat" and it serves exactly what its name states...a bag for your bag during the rainy season.

i "get it" i suppose because some of these purses are hella expensive. it makes sense that you would want to protect them from damage during a rainy interlude. and i also "get it" i suppose in not wanting to put your chanel or bottega veneta in a plastic vons bag in order to protect it. you don't want to appear tacky so i "get it."

BUT, i still think it's pretty dumb. i would rather not bag my bag in a bag. if i expect it to rain, then i won't even carry my leathery babies. but if i didn't expect it to rain but it did, then i would just tuck it under my jacket or swiftly wipe the beads of rain off my purses as i have done in the past. spending money on a plastic raincoat for your bag smells like a dumb idea.

please don't take me out

last weekend, i went to a yelp elite event. if you did not know this, i'm a yelper too (ahhahha...the things i do on my free time). i'm not just any ole yelper mind you, but an "elite" one, meaning i get invited to free shitz! last saturday, i was invited to some shmancy shin dig where i got free booze and fancy tapas....oh, and a free yelpie hoodie carried in a cute green awareness tote. whoo hoo! *bagnatic smacking her lips* i was drunk by 7pm and stuffed. haha. good times, good times.

anyways, while drinking and eating, i spotted a few bags there. OF COURSE! i saw this fellow yelper toting a super cute chanel brown lambskin flap. so purty! but then i saw THIS atrocity:

ugh, PLEASE DON'T EVER BUY A PURSE SHAPED LIKE A CHINESE TAKE OUT BOX. PLEASE DON'T. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S COVERED IN FAUX SILK TO MAKE IT "FANCIER." THERE IS NO WAY OF MAKING A TAKE OUT BOX FANCIER!!! THAT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG AND SO FREAKIN' FUGZ AND I JUST FELT LIKE GRABBING THIS FELLOW YELPER'S TAKE OUT PURSE TO PUT IN SOME TAPAS TO TAKE HOME. LET'S ALL PUKE IN UNISON.

hey, i'm not saying gimmicks can't be cute. look, i have a star purse circa before i became a bag obsessed whore, but you don't see me rocking it now do you? i know my limits, like no mini skirts after age 35....

my star bag is still hella cute, but once you go bagnatic, it's hard to go back to this hot topic tote.

clearly stupid

you know, i “heart” chanel and everything, but seriously, must chanel ALSO get into this plastic bag see through craze? i know marc by marc jacobs has one with this glittery starburst pattern, but no matter how cool chanel is, a see through bag is just plain stupid.

why would anyone buy a bag that allows their contents to be visible? i don’t need to see that you’re carrying a cosco size box full of condoms or that you like using extra long kotex pads for that time of the month. hahahaha. no seriously, why are you broadcasting your wares? this kind of see through plastic bag reminds me of those cheap plastic umbrellas back in the days that looked like half an egg. or those restaurants that have those plastic side panels for their outdoor seating. anyways, just makes no sense.

to add insult to injury, these bags are pretty expensive for what they are worth. no leather to even justify the price….nothing. it is CLEAR that you are buying this bag just for the sake of the double c's. i've even read in some purse forums that women were getting the chanel pictured below because it was a relatively more "affordable" chanel. yo, chanel is cool, but a plastic bag isn’t…i don’t mind drawing a line to demarcate the difference.

keeping it real

i’ve been carrying this dependable black lesportsac bag for over a year now. it’s made of nylon and it’s roomy and durable. it’s the one i schlep to school because i don’t mind stuffing it in my roving closet or my desk drawer without worries that manhandling the bag would damage it…. i just shove and forget. when i had first purchased it, i had bought it because it looked durable and it reminded me of my kipling bag that i had carried for SO MANY YEARS during my college days. at that point, i was looking for functionality rather than style or quality of materials in a purse (boy, have times changed…hahahaha).

for quite a while now, i noticed lesportsac sporting a new line…one by tokidoki. i’m sure you’ve seen it too. it is colorful with crazy graphics all over the purse. initially, i was intrigued when i saw it because it speaks to the flamboyant side in me, but on closer inspection, these bags are a MESS!! too much going on! it’s like when you go in for a piercing but you come out with a bunch of studs on your face instead: two on your eyebrows, one on your left nostril, and one protruding from your chin. too much competition with your face if you go with all those piercings…just like too much competition with your wardrobe if you go for a tokidoki.

i like the plain black lesportsac bag that i carry to and fro. for the other days, my other purses come out to play. tokidoki is a NOkiNOki in my book.

the revamped fanny pack

my friend owns a gucci belt bag. when i saw it on her, i thought, cute. when sarah jessica parker wore it on sex and the city, i thought "oh, cute." but when i saw it on a multitude of random people at a mall AND by brands other than gucci, i thought "NOT CUTE." stop rocking the fanny pack!! it IS a GLORIFIED fanny pack after all and fanny packs AREN'T hot! when i see a fanny pack, my mind runs through these three things:

1) you are a tourist
2) you are a fat, white tourist
3) you are a dork

sorry. gucci was able to pull it off...now, it's just ridiculous. do yourself a favor and stop looking like a fool. ugh.

just like online dating.....

i received my dior wallet...and i don't love it. i'm soooo disappointed. it's like a freakin' online dating picture...you know what i mean? like you THINK he looks one way, you get a little bit excited because you think he's hot, but when you actually see him, it's totally different. totally different....boo hoo.

unfortunately for me, this dior wallet that i had pined for does not meet my expectations. when i opened my box, i was like what the heck?! what the HELL did eluxury do with the pictures to change the coloration so much? it was suppose to be "mystically mustard," a HOT yellow, but instead, it looks like a worn out, mustard-brown. a sad, depressed brown...verging on turd. so sad, so sad. boo hoo. don't you think the color looks TOTALLY different?

back on my wallet search again....