faking out

can you spot a few designer fakes hanging on this wall of fakes? i can identify at least three different designers. anyways, i saw these a while back and took a pic of it. i'm suprised i didn't see any louis vuitton.

after christmas gawking

i normally avoid after christmas sales like a kid with lice and especially now that i'm older, the thought of driving in circles to look for parking or standing in lines for everything (including the restroom when it's not even the movies or concert!), does not speak to me. i would rather stay home and wash dishes.

but this year, i ventured out of my lair because i wanted to pick up a prezzie for my friend's baby so the thought was....if i'm going to the mall anyways, then let's go to south coast plaza! yay for having a nice boyfriend because he obliged and off we went to the o.c. if you guys aren't familiar with south coast plaza, it's like rodeo drive all packed up into a mall. personally, i prefer it over bev hills. at least parking is free and accessible and there's a ton more places to shop, like H & M and zara to name a few.

when we got there in the afternoon, the place was PACKED! i'm not sure what kind of sales there were to be had there, but i wasn't really there to shop, more like to GAWK since i was out and about anyways.

some leftover christmas cheer. instead of playing "where's waldo," let's play, "where's santa?" can you spot santa's little helper in this picture?

i saw a few "sale" signs placed on the windows of stores that i would normally patronize, but walking into one of them and not being able to turn in a 360 degree circle without getting bumped was nuts. so i decided, NO WAY, i'm gawking today, NOT shopping so off i went to cartier, chanel, and hermes instead.

the nice thing about a busy shopping day is that stores that are normally stone cold empty have life in them. hermes is a perfect example. normally, i wouldn't even set foot in there because it's usually empty and intimidating. the sales people usually check you out, stare you down, and then ignore you because their quick robotic assessment tells them you have about a dollar in your purse. some folks really don't care about that and would walk in anyways, but to me, i feel unwelcomed so i normally stay away. besides, i won't be buying anyways, so why deal with unpleasantries...but HA HA! they were so busy after christmas with so many lookie loos that i walked right in and was comfortably ignored. whooo...let's bag molest shall we?

birkins and other shapes with all kinds of colors. i didn't tote any (didn't want to take a chance of sowing a seed of desire when i absolutely can't/shouldn't/wouldn't).

they also sell a lot of other things, like bags, bracelets, scarves, ties, and belts. you name it, they probably have it. i saw a couple looking at dishware. NOW THAT, i don't understand. hermes is known for their bags, not dishware.

they also have these super pretty lizard skin wallets. ooh la la.

and the biggest hermes bag of them all, this big orange pumpkin of a bag. i don't know the style name of this bag because they change base on the size, but it's in the iconic shape with its iconic hardware. orange is the signature hermes color and when you buy hermes, it comes in an orange box. the charms of the hermes orange is intoxicating.

they also make the prettiest red color ever. i think of crayola red when i see this.

so after dragging the boyfriend through the store, it was time to depart. the drooling was too intense and the front of my shirt was wet from it. next time i go to hermes, i'm bringing a bib and walking away with a birkin :)

the christmas crush

during the holiday season, i'm in the lucky minority in the sense that i DON'T HAVE to go shopping for gifts. you see, our family is buddhist so our traditions during this season does not involve christmas or christmas trees or singing silent night around the fireplace while drinking eggnog. btw, do you do that? or did hallmark give me a crazy skewed view of the fa la la la world?

HOWEVER, this year, i did brave the malls to purchase a few stocking stuffers because i now have my own home and plan on creating my own traditions. although my loved ones in my home did not get full on presents, i thought it would be nice to stuff something teenie in their stockings (my dog charlie has his own stocking too!) as well as have a little lighted christmas tree in my wee house. ahhh...lights.

so back to shopping....the mall was HORRIFIC. HORRIFIC i tell ya! it was so crowded and although i know we are still in a recession, the sheer number of people i saw walking and shopping was enough to assure me that perhaps the economy is bouncing back after all....perhaps. i felt so relieved to only have to shop for 2 and charlie doesn't count because i got him a chewy bone! everything was done in one shot...BAM!

everywhere i went, there were lines, and crowds, and people bumping into you. although people SHOULD have holiday cheer, that was not always the case. i saw a fair amount of rudeness...i think folks just don't know how to function when there's too many people around them. it probably doesn't help that people are scrambling for last minute gifts which was apparent as i walked about. ack, the pressure of buying a gift isn't so fun...good thing i just had to get stocking stuffers and teenie ones at that.

the line to get out of the parking lot at my local mall was probably the worse line to be in. honking and exhaust :( it reconfirmed the brillance of online shopping!! perhaps next year, i will have the foresight to do that instead of stomping through the malls.

even with this taste of christmas shopping craze, i think i will try to keep the tradition of the christmas stocking. anyways, i hope you all have a most EXCELLENT holiday, be it christmas or hanukkah or kwanzaa or the like. as i bask in my newfound traditions, i hope you're enjoying yours.

i caught a little reindeer on the way home. isn't he cute?! happy holidays!

smooches,

bagnatic

lotus x 2

i cook. not top chef delicious, but good enough for you to possibly want seconds, lest you're a smart woman and know when to stop before your belly stretches your pants. i have yet to master that art myself, but i digress like i always do :)

my honey thinks i cook well, but i know he says that cuz i always shake my fist when i ask him what he thinks of my cooking. "it's delicious honey." "oh, i love eating your food." "this taste so good, i can eat it for all my meals." as you can tell, my honey is a keeper. he knows how to lie with a straight face.

as i hone my cooking skills, i've learned that when you cook, you can sometimes "fix" things that go wrong in the recipe. for instance, if you oversalt something, you might be able to add a little more of another ingredient to diffuse the saltiness. example, oversalt your mash potatoes, then add more mash potatoes! when i bought my baby alex lotus, it was a cooking experiment indeed. i had thought it looked really tiny and though cute on its own, i wanted to ADD something to it so that i can "fix" the look. my answer to that problem was to get ANOTHER LOTUS and a spacer ring and stack all three! then it will give me the presence i needed in a right hand ring.

i decided on a honey citrine asscher cut lotus. i REALLY adore asschers and this was the best fix i can get. i absolutely love the color of the citrine, but am a bit disappointed that i can't see the step cuts of the asscher clearly because the color is too dark :( no wonder these cuts work better with lighter gemstones or gaw gaw gawgeous diamonds. but the color of this ring is rather darling and i loves it so i am totally smitten by it.

the beautiful, beautiful lotus setting once again. every time i look at this setting, i fall in love....

and here it is worn with my rose gold rope ring. i'm using the rope ring as a spacer when i stack them all up....

like this!

NOW, i'm perfectly in love. i think the baby alex looks lovely next to the honey citrine. in fact, if my fingers were longer, i would stack another one and make it a threesome. in any case, just like cooking, i "fixed" it and it's 100% delicious.

lotus love

when i was studying abroad in hong kong during my last leg of undergrad studies at ucla (last leg meaning i could have graduated in 4 years even with my double major but decided to borrow another year's worth of money to study abroad and back pack through asia for the 5th year...ahh the loans...still paying for it, but exusey my tangent) i went to thailand during one of those many backpacking excursions. in a snapshot, thailand to me means street vendor eats, buddhism, hiking, almost drowning, and getting ripped off. yes, i experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly there. even though it was many, many years ago, i still have interesting, fond memories of it. so what does that have to do with what santa brought me from thailand?

haha, nothing except that this present to myself comes all the way from thailand, and specifically from chiang mai (which is possibly one of the most BEAUTIFUL locations in thailand). the seller makes these GORGEOUS lotus ring settings and when i first laid my eyes on them, i had to, i was compelled to, i was mandated from buddha to...purchase one for my growing jewelry collection. here is my teenie weenie itsy bitsy alexandrite in a yellow gold lotus setting. the color change is from green in natural light to either a dark blue or light purple depending on the artificial light in question.

it is really small, really small! look at the relation of this baby alex lotus to my super ginormous thumb nail! i must admit, for the price i paid for this baby alex ring, i was unpleasantly suprised by the size. well, live and learn.

no wonder i had to go buy this too after a few weeks of light consideration :) i love how santa just brings me more gifts.

let the christmas presents to myself roll in!

i know santa is an international man, but whoo hoo, he brought me a package from thailand!! wonder what it is?!

pumpkin spiced hermes

every year, i MUST go to starbucks for a cup of their pumpkin spice latte. yes, it is a must. it's like an itch that must be scratched or you forever go on thinking how itchy you are. it's one of those. anyways, i scratched my pumpkin spice latte itch on sunday and WHAT DID I SEE BEFORE MY BAG WHORE EYES as i waited for my itchy drink in starbucks?! holy crap. it's a pink, ostrich skin HERMES birkin! cute! it is MUCH rarer to see a hermes than other designer bags, so when i come across one, i totally bag molest with my eyes. although i wouldn't personally carry this particularly flashy pink bag myself because the color is a bit limiting to your outfits, it looked pretty hot on this lady. *sigh* hermes...now wouldn't it be nice to have a little black hermes for my collection one day? haha, i wish.

kiss of death

born in hanoi, vietnam to my vietnamese mother and my chinese father, my bare naked bottom was meant to be kissed by the sun, my skin browned to a pre-cancerous glow, and my natural freckles encouraged to bloom across my face like the california poppies in april...without sunblock. what i'm saying is that i'm meant to bask in the sunshine, but instead, i'm SHIVERING in CALIFORNIA WINTER. yes, i'm a whiny bitch and don't talk to me about ridiculous cold weather on the east coast and how 43 degree temperature here ain't nothing, cuz i know nothing of it. all i know is that i'm cold. brrrr....

to add insult to injury, the cold weather produces the sickest bunch of kids ever to teach. snotty noses, soar throats, sneezes, and fevers. inevitably, i get a whiff of the tornado of germs that rampages through my classroom and eventually, i too, am snotty nosed, sneezing, with a disagreeable soar throat. i have the immune system of an 80 year old, that's whut. i don't care how whiney i sound right now. i can't breathe and i cough like a smoker.

i WILL NOT be teaching tomorrow. nope. i'm calling in sick, way too taxed from not calling in when i should have like 2 days ago because i wanted to meet a testing deadline. i am going to lay in bed and think warm thoughts while my heater blasts on, converting my cold little bedroom into a tropical getaway where there's no germs, or work, and i can breathe like a normal human being without wheezing. over and out, the nyquil is about to kick in.....

what a boob

being a busy gal means not wanting to waste my time....washing my bras by hand. oh lordy how i hate to take my bras out to the nearest brook so i can pound it clean with a stone in the clear, icy water. then putting it in a basket along with all my delicates as i walk barefoot back to my wee house. oh gawd, washing bras stink.

that's why, i usually ruin them by sticking them in the washer and drying them in the dryer. i get these odd configurations...an underwire that sticks out, lace that looks beaten up....my delicates definitely don't look delicate after that!!!

so when i saw this supposedly bra wonder at target, i immediately scooped it up. IMAGINE, being able to wash my bras IN THE WASHER and dry it IN THE DRYER without damage to my lacey cups! i was ALL over it, i really was. it sounded like a godsend.

it's basically a smaller plastic hamster ball tucked inside a bigger plastic hamster ball...without the hamster of course :0 the idea is to secure the cups of your bra around the inner hamster ball so it will maintain its form as you wash and then dry them.

so i tried it....and it failed miserably :( the bras would dislodge and bunch itself up...the wires still poked out....it was no bueno! what a waste of pesos man! so in order to put it to use, i made a "toy" out of it for charlie. we taped the sides so he couldn't open it up and rolled it on the ground like a ball for my doggie doo. at least SOMEONE found some use for it!

a latch key kid

many years ago when i was studying abroad in hong kong, i picked up a very fine, thin gold necklace with a gold heart pendant. i wore it that way for many years until i acquired a tiny gold key to go with it. people always asked me if it was symbolic for "a key to my heart," but naw, it's just two dainty pieces that looked cute together. but every since that first tiny key, i was hooked! i wanted to be a latch key kid!

when i saw that tiffany & co came out with a key collection, i really wanted to get one, but as you know, i was sidetracked and bought my tiffany diamond pendant instead. excercising self control only went as far a few months because when i went to vegas not too long ago, i KNEW i had to pay tiffany a visit, and i did.

i went in knowing that i wanted a gold key on a simple gold chain, but was COMPELETELY smitten by the super cute oval link chain! i bought a 30" chain because i liked the idea of wearing it long like this (a modified mr. t look):

and wearing it layered and short like this:

in my head, it seemed like a "deal" cuz it's a 2 in 1 look. anyways, i really love the necklace and am happy to add it to my growing jewelry family. it's so fun to be a girl!

singing my vegas blues

btw, other than a harry and david useless salt container in a shape of an apple, and l'occitane hand cream triplets, i also picked up this little ole blue box. i KNOW. you can lecture me about the economy, how people are losing their jobs, how i should save cuz i have financial responsibilities....but i did get it in vegas so i saved a tiny bit on sales tax! yay! ok, maybe i didn't save as much as i would if i just didn't get it at all....but it is bootiful girls, bootiful!

dry hands be gone!

i love rubbing my cracked man hands with l'occitane hand cream. i was hooked onto this hand cream about 8-9 years ago and have monogamously used it since, with intermittent cheating with aveeno lotion when i'm at home. it's overpriced, about $10 for a small tube, but you don't have to squeeze so much on your palms for it to do its job so i use it religiously when my dry hands need a drink of water.

while i was in las vegas, i browsed a few stores and stocked up on l'occitane. they have a promotion running right now that showcases a few different scents for their hand cream. i tried them all of course, and settled for these three tubes for a combine total of $27 ($3 off if you get three). the rose one smells lovely. it's like creaming your hands with a wedding bouquet of roses. the smell is strong initally, but will dissipate with time, leaving a hint of roses. the smell will not conflict with your perfume. the ylang ylang is a favorite of mine, though the fragrance does not appeal to all noses. it's a hard scent to describe, but to me, it smells like a soft mixture of flowers and tea. i think it's rather lovely. the regular hand cream also has a smell to it, but very subtle. this one is my old favorite and is always hanging about to moisturize my hands.

loving my triplets.

an apple for the teacher

once in a while, i become absolutely FASCINATED with something that i can't justify purchasing because it's just plain crap, like it will end up in a yard sale kind of crap. but i end up dreaming about it (literally) and then i get it. if that's not a loud message from god (the dreaming part), then i don't know what would constitute as one.

6 months ago, we stopped by a harry and david shop to kill time before heading over to a friend's wedding reception. i saw this cute apple container with a leaf spoon in it and wanted to get it then, but honestly, what would i even use it for? did i hear you say NOTHING? YUP. nothing. it's as useful as a hello kitty sammich press. besides, my kitchen is already cluttered. i really didn't need this apple. really. so i walked away patting myself on my back for executing some will power.

6 months later, i kept thinking about it. not obsessively like single white female, more like, oh, how cute and round and shiny that apple container was and i'm SURE i could have found something to put in it....so when we were out in vegas last week, i saw it again so i picked it up. no denying it this time. it is still pretty useless, but it's as round and as shiny as i had remembered. i put these fancy shmancy salt crystals in them and use the spoon to sprinkle the salt on salads, paella, etc....yup, that's a stretch alright, but i bought it anyways.

weezing out

i would need more fingers and toes than my body has sprouted to count the number of years i've been a weezer fan. methinks at least 16 blue moons. i was rocking out to them in highschool with my walkman as i rode the school bus. walkmans?! remember those?! holy shit right?!

on friday, weezer played at the palladium and we scored tickets to go. instead of being good weezer fans and lining up by 4 or 5 when doors opened at 7, we got there about 6:30. you see, if i was truly hardcore, i would sit my ass down way before it's called for so i can guarantee a spot at the very front. but i'm old now and i don't like the idea of sitting for 3 long hours on the street. nope.

once in there, we stood around for an hour before the opening band played. some old school folks called WAX (dude, i have no clue)...i bobbed my head when appropriate and deleted some old messages from my phone when i got bored. it was an eternity before weezer came out and rivers cuomo did his thang. love this dude...so adorable like a teddy bear though he is 40 years old with a bald spot. but the best thing about being cute and adorable is that you're never too old to be called that.

i tried taking a pic of his bald spot :)

minus the annoying shoving from a wannabe mosh pit that erupted right next to me (OH HELLS NO DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW RETARDED THAT SHIT IS), the bumping of very sweaty smelly folks, and shoving a bitch out of my way, weezer played an awesome set!!! a mix of old music and new. they also threw in a few suprises like a guest appearance from chamillionaire (an experiment of weezer meeting hip hop) AND a lady gaga rendition which was hilarious!

listening to weezer made me forget that i was old and that i shouldn't be shoving folks who get in my way. instead, it reminded me of walkmans and unraveling my sweater. good times, good times.

doo bags

my little charlie is by no means a feminine dog. he is a stubborn, smelly, pees off a bike basket kind of dog. it is no wonder that his accessories reflect this "ruggedness." when he does his doo, we use plastic bags that his grandma and grandpops gives us (since my household uses mainly reusable bags when we shop....it also helps that i don't cook anything that calls for more than 5 ingredients. ouch.) this, my friends, is how his doo doo picker upper looks like. i tie two bags (sometimes he suprises me with a double dump, that darn fat belly of his) to his leash and it is not cute, but functional.

but you see, if charlie was a pretty dog. a fluffy dog named mocha, or daisy, or brissa, then the accessories HAVE to be cute...shouldn't it? omg, look at these pooper bag keepers! they are bags in a bag to bag up doo. damn they're so cute!

chanel inspired for the chic dog doo pickers.

polka dots for those of you who like to do the polka when you pick up doo.

and the animal print bag, for the cougars out there walking their cute little bichons.

i'm sticking with the plastic bags that his grandpops gives him though these little baggie holders are SO DARN CUTE!

fishing in a sale

whenever i buy large ticket items like my chanels or most recently, my tiffany diamond necklace, the s.a.'s always send a thank you/"enjoy your purchase" card afterwards (almost a month later though cuz i think they want to make sure that you've kept your purchases and didn't go back for a return or else they would not get credit for the sale which means eff the card!). i'm always tickled by these cards because i normally don't get them until weeks after the fact and when i open that envelope, i'm reminded AGAIN what a spendthrift i can be. whoops.

so that got me thinkin....no, no, no...not whether or not i should curb my spending habits. actually, i started thinking how SMART these s.a.'s are because by sending me a card, they are trying to secure themselves a client for future sales. it makes sense right being that most sales positions are commission based. i be nice to you, i make you feel important, i want you to know i'll always be there for your spending needs...BUY, BUY, BUY FROM ME. smart. i don't know about you, but i like getting service from the same people if i can help it. and if you're friendly and not pushy, i'll stick with you for the long haul. i really don't like talking to a bunch of strange folks all the time and since i'm going to get the item anyways whether here or there, might as well be from a nice person that can use the commission.

just thinking out loud.

yo scp, yeah you know me!

true to my bagnatic name, during this past labor day weekend, i HAD to drop by bottega veneta at south coast plaza to take a looksie. i wanted to see if that dark bramble sloane that my s.a. had sent me pictures of was indeed that elusive scala color that i had once searched far and wide for. funny how memories work, but the color did not wow me when i first saw it again. in fact, i asked her to pull out other bags like the ebano "new ball bag" and an ebano veneta to model because i was over it....UNTIL...the s.a. suggested that we take the dark bramble outside of the store so we could stand under natural sunlight to admire this bottega beauty. oh how the colors shimmered!! oh how my feelings changed!! it's like different shades of dusty pink rose petals weaved into this gorgeous leather bag. the leather is buttery soft too as all bottegas are known for and i found that all my bag thoughts ended in this one word HEAVENLY....it was a truly seductive bag indeed. did i buy it?! ?

no. not right there anyways....KIDDING.

with my tiffany pendant damaged wallet, i walked away. but i looked back every few steps i took like bobby brown or like a lover bidding adieu to her beau at the train station. when will we meet again dark bramble? when? anyways, i roamed about south coast plaza as usual because it is a great place to purse watch, purse stalk, and purse molest if you love leather baggy babies as much as i do. chanels are a dime a dozen there since all you see are rail thin asian chicks strutting about with their chanels...though i must say jumbolicious was the only jumbo hanging around that day and she was fun to tote.

i ran across an interesting art installation...heels made from canned goods. would you rather have this or a pair of christian louboutins?

don't deal me valentino

have you ever met a dealer who tries to hook you onto something else down the road? you know, like "hey baby, try some ecstasy. it'll make you feel good." then it becomes "hey baby, crack ain't whack. why don't you try some on me..." until you find yourself lying in a seedy hotel room faced down in your bile with heroin marks running up and down your arms....yeah, the pusher just pushed you over. ok, i've never done this before, but i have a good imagination.

anyways, another s.a. that i "deal" with only works with me on chanel and have sold me several chanel pieces...but every once in a while, she will send me emails trying to tempt me with another designer:

"Good morning bagnatic, I thought you might enjoy seeing the new Valentino that just arrived. It is very soft and feminine. If you are interested in any of these please give me a call. Thanks from the Pusher"

this time, she tried to push some valentino bags on me:

i don't mean to insult any of you valentino fans out there when i say this, but THESE BAGS ARE UGLY. how do you go from hot totty chanel to granny panties valentino? the ruffles are seasons old and prada has already done it. look s.a., you are cluttering my inbox with ugly bag pictures when i could have saved that space for emails that recommend that i "enlarge my penis" or "get same medz at better prices."

oogly.

stripping down

i've been to a male "strip joint" twice. once in las vegas with a bunch of my giddy girlfriends to check out "thunder from down under" and then to hollywood men for my friend's bachelorette party many years ago. both times, i felt CHEATED yah know. i always expected to see some shlong, but instead, there's a line-up of gayish looking long haired men reenacting some fat housewive's fantasy on stage. gyrating on a motorcycle? um, no thanks. shower scene with your speedo on? ack, nope, not feeling it. unlike the female stripping equivalent where's there titties galore and sometimes some bush, a male stripping show is just a long winded teaser....which leads me to the stripping of my tiffany box.

(cue the porn music...*bowchickabowow*)

"take it off baby... ow!"

"show me what you got in there! ow!"

"don't tease me baby...take it out and show me!"

"oh lord have mercy...you're hard like a rock!"

and it is....this is my mini tiffany diamond circlet pendant in platinum. harder than a rock and oh so delicious.

the end.